Here’s an admission: I write sucky copy.
No, it doesn’t suck in the grammatical sense. It sucks in the sense that nobody will ever read it. Or, even if they do somehow muster the willpower to try and comprehend the words, they’d fail miserably.
Why?
It’s full of corporate-speak and/or technical jargon. It’s bursting with buzzwords that’ve been used ad nauseam. Imagine eating a cinnamon roll that’s ALL cinnamon. I myself strain to proofread my own copy.
But yet I continue to churn it out because, like it or not, it’s the client that I have to satisfy at the end of the day, not myself nor the target audience.
And what the client wants is stuff that contains crap words/phrases like “leverage”, “cost-effective” and “scalable” in everything about IT solutions. Not forgetting a liberal sprinkling of acronyms such as “XML”, “MySQL” and “JSP”. Just an aesthetic touch you understand.
When it comes to training and certification, they want to convey the idea that learning with them will “fast track” or “accelerate” your career. They want copy that will motive the TA to “take the leap” with them onto the “cutting-edge”. Wherever that is, whatever that means.
Ok, fair enough. They’re a huge IT company and they’re entitled to want to put in the technical bits or the corporate claptrap. But, as if that wasn’t bad enough, they want to be friendly and personal as well. Maybe I’m not skilled enough but I’m having difficulty reconciling the two.
Anyway, for those of you who need help (everyone really) in understanding corporate-speak, here’re a few definitions I’ve shamelessly copied from here.
Challenge
A big problem that nobody in the company knows how to fix. A challenge may very well lead to the demise of said company. If your company spends more time talking about challenges than home runs, it may be time to look for a new job.
Corporate
The group of people in a company that make the important decisions and all of the money. You are most likely not a member of this group.
Corporate Vision
The list of things that a company would like to provide and accomplish. Most are more like hallucinations than visions.
Fast Track
Usually referring to a person that has moved up the corporate ladder faster than they could prove their worth or be held accountable for the mess they made.
Leverage
A fancy version of the word "use." For example, instead of saying "We could use your product knowledge to help us make a sale", the corporate type would say, "We could leverage your product knowledge to help us make a sale". The use of this word is one of many examples of people trying to sound important in the office.
Resource
An employee. Resources are managed by a group which calls itself "Human Resources." Like hardware, resources have fixed lifespans, can become obsolete and can even malfunction.
Value-added
Tacking on extra features (for free) to an existing product so that customers have difficulty comparing prices with competitors.
win/win
A fascinating business concept that somehow eliminates the "loser" in any deal or project. A win/win situation is when a customer pays their bills on time and doesn't ever complain.
Why?
It’s full of corporate-speak and/or technical jargon. It’s bursting with buzzwords that’ve been used ad nauseam. Imagine eating a cinnamon roll that’s ALL cinnamon. I myself strain to proofread my own copy.
But yet I continue to churn it out because, like it or not, it’s the client that I have to satisfy at the end of the day, not myself nor the target audience.
And what the client wants is stuff that contains crap words/phrases like “leverage”, “cost-effective” and “scalable” in everything about IT solutions. Not forgetting a liberal sprinkling of acronyms such as “XML”, “MySQL” and “JSP”. Just an aesthetic touch you understand.
When it comes to training and certification, they want to convey the idea that learning with them will “fast track” or “accelerate” your career. They want copy that will motive the TA to “take the leap” with them onto the “cutting-edge”. Wherever that is, whatever that means.
Ok, fair enough. They’re a huge IT company and they’re entitled to want to put in the technical bits or the corporate claptrap. But, as if that wasn’t bad enough, they want to be friendly and personal as well. Maybe I’m not skilled enough but I’m having difficulty reconciling the two.
Anyway, for those of you who need help (everyone really) in understanding corporate-speak, here’re a few definitions I’ve shamelessly copied from here.
Challenge
A big problem that nobody in the company knows how to fix. A challenge may very well lead to the demise of said company. If your company spends more time talking about challenges than home runs, it may be time to look for a new job.
Corporate
The group of people in a company that make the important decisions and all of the money. You are most likely not a member of this group.
Corporate Vision
The list of things that a company would like to provide and accomplish. Most are more like hallucinations than visions.
Fast Track
Usually referring to a person that has moved up the corporate ladder faster than they could prove their worth or be held accountable for the mess they made.
Leverage
A fancy version of the word "use." For example, instead of saying "We could use your product knowledge to help us make a sale", the corporate type would say, "We could leverage your product knowledge to help us make a sale". The use of this word is one of many examples of people trying to sound important in the office.
Resource
An employee. Resources are managed by a group which calls itself "Human Resources." Like hardware, resources have fixed lifespans, can become obsolete and can even malfunction.
Value-added
Tacking on extra features (for free) to an existing product so that customers have difficulty comparing prices with competitors.
win/win
A fascinating business concept that somehow eliminates the "loser" in any deal or project. A win/win situation is when a customer pays their bills on time and doesn't ever complain.
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