Noodle Nazi

The famous Soup Nazi as portrayed in Seinfeld. Well, I think I just found the noodle Nazi in Singapore.

Was feeling hungry during tea break and decided to get some lor mee at the canteen near my office (and yes, Joel, I'm still eating my lor mee with bee hoon). After she prepared the order, I proceeded to pay, and then added the chopped garlic that usually accompanies it. I didn't want to overdo it, so just added a smidgin. The hawker then said "You must put it daringly", to which i replied "It's enough". (Note: the conversation happened entirely in Mandarin). She then reached out, picked up the garlic spoon, and said "I help you put", after which she scooped a huge tablespoon of garlic and plopped it into my bowl. This was followed by another spoonful of chopped spring onions, and then an attempt to add fried shallots, which i managed to turn down. Being the courteous Singaporean that I am, I thanked her and walked off to my seat before she could garnish my lor mee any more.

At my seat, I recounted what happened to my colleagues before tucking it. It tasted quite good actually, but that's because I kinda like chopped garlic. I can imagine someone being totally turned off by the sheer amount she added to my bowl. After one mouthful, I decided that it needed more vinegar. So i brought my spoon back to the stall to get some. The girl who was behind me has just gotten her order of laksa and the stallholder offered to add Laksa leaf to her bowl. The girl rejected her offer, but alas, the response was "you must add this, it's nice". And she promptly spooned out a full teaspoon of Laksa leaf into the poor girl's bowl. While all that was happening, I managed to get the vinegar I needed and escaped before I was offered anything else. I have never seen a hawker so eager to garnish everyone's noodles at her own expense. I must attempt to make her say "No noodles for you" one day.