Seven months wasted
A colleague mentioned this afternoon that he was at the Singapore Idol Final last night at the Indoor Stadium to which I remarked “Oh, I didn’t know you were a teenage girl.” Needless to say, this didn’t go down well and I watched helplessly as another bridge went up in flames.
It’s true, however, that your average Singapore Idol fanatic is female, between 12 and 17 years of age and in possession of a voice so shrill that they aren’t allowed anywhere near wine glasses. Then again, the fans of almost everything are shrill teenage girls. To make dog killing a hit with them, all you need to do is film a pooch being butchered and set it to music.
But for all their screaming and placard holding, I’m sure that even they know that this whole Singapore Idol thing is a waste of time. There really isn’t any market for English music here especially when it’s trite, commercial rubbish.
Sure, the winner gets his 15 minutes of fame, cuts his first album, gets forced to sing in all those roadshows, endures even more screaming fans and then what? To give you a clue, my boss’s suggested method of picking the winner is simply to see who looks best holding a Big Gulp. Because that’s all we’ve seen the previous winner do.
And why does 7-Eleven bother to advertise anyway? I don’t go there cos “It’s a store and more”. I certainly don’t go there cos some guy who can’t sing is holding a Big Gulp and smiling. I go there because it’s 3am and, dammit, I need a beer.
The bottom line is this – it doesn’t matter who all these screaming people vote as Singapore Idol. By this time next year, they’ll all be screaming for someone else.
It’s true, however, that your average Singapore Idol fanatic is female, between 12 and 17 years of age and in possession of a voice so shrill that they aren’t allowed anywhere near wine glasses. Then again, the fans of almost everything are shrill teenage girls. To make dog killing a hit with them, all you need to do is film a pooch being butchered and set it to music.
But for all their screaming and placard holding, I’m sure that even they know that this whole Singapore Idol thing is a waste of time. There really isn’t any market for English music here especially when it’s trite, commercial rubbish.
Sure, the winner gets his 15 minutes of fame, cuts his first album, gets forced to sing in all those roadshows, endures even more screaming fans and then what? To give you a clue, my boss’s suggested method of picking the winner is simply to see who looks best holding a Big Gulp. Because that’s all we’ve seen the previous winner do.
And why does 7-Eleven bother to advertise anyway? I don’t go there cos “It’s a store and more”. I certainly don’t go there cos some guy who can’t sing is holding a Big Gulp and smiling. I go there because it’s 3am and, dammit, I need a beer.
The bottom line is this – it doesn’t matter who all these screaming people vote as Singapore Idol. By this time next year, they’ll all be screaming for someone else.
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