I'm old
As of today, I am 27 years and two days old. This sucks. One day you’re a strapping young lad and the next you’re a geezer. Of course, I was never strapping but at least I was young. I remember a time when I could stay awake for eight hours straight without drooling into my pocket. Now I line them with cellophane. Oh, the humanity.
Still some people tell me I can pass off as a student. These are very nice folks even if they are utterly blind. The truth of the matter is that I am old. A geriatric in a sea of youth. I am the type of person delinquents will now try to mug as I cling feebly to my walking stick, cursing hoarsely for them to buzz off forthwith.
Of course, a few lovely people have made efforts to help ease me into my golden years. Pat bought me a sumptuous dinner along with a wonderful pair of jeans with which to keep the cold from seeping into my legs. My CD and Joanne gave me two voluptuous nymphs to help keep the old blood pumping and also, very thoughtfully, a booklet of MCs so that I could have an excuse to spend all day in bed with the aforementioned companions. My mother also chipped in with some money that will no doubt be stolen by those damned delinquents.
And now if only this accursed rain would stop. I’m feeling it in my bones already.
Still some people tell me I can pass off as a student. These are very nice folks even if they are utterly blind. The truth of the matter is that I am old. A geriatric in a sea of youth. I am the type of person delinquents will now try to mug as I cling feebly to my walking stick, cursing hoarsely for them to buzz off forthwith.
Of course, a few lovely people have made efforts to help ease me into my golden years. Pat bought me a sumptuous dinner along with a wonderful pair of jeans with which to keep the cold from seeping into my legs. My CD and Joanne gave me two voluptuous nymphs to help keep the old blood pumping and also, very thoughtfully, a booklet of MCs so that I could have an excuse to spend all day in bed with the aforementioned companions. My mother also chipped in with some money that will no doubt be stolen by those damned delinquents.
And now if only this accursed rain would stop. I’m feeling it in my bones already.
6 Comments:
Hey, you're still young! A young geezer, but young nonetheless. Oh, don't be dramatic. Wait till you mention the "old" in the office *coughCreativeDept!cough*. So much as a whisper of that word and They will come to you in sarcastic tones of "You, old? Then what am I? Ancient??"
Glad you found the MC pad useful. I took great care in picking those nymphs, after all. Have you found out who was the person hinted in the reverse writing?
Would you feel a tat younger if I started calling you Gor, a variation of Nat's? I find myself compelled to return the favor after all the laughs one has gotten at my expense of a horrible nickname given by a certain auntie.
I just spent my day dozing and watching documentaries. What about that isn't old?
And speaking of your wonderful nickname, I should've gotten you a tiara for Christmas. Darn it. Maybe next year.
That qualifies as old only if you were holding a certain brand of beer in your hand as well.
Other than that, I think it's just a bout of couch-potatoism.
It's an accursed nickname, more like it. Tiara?!Why not add a poofy dress while you're at it?
Or maybe I should stop giving more wretched ideas.
Happy Belated Birthday Joel! And Happy New Year too!
A belated Happy Birthday, Joel.
Thank you all for wishing me well on my passage into old age. I hold my dentures out to you. *insert smiley*
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