Fish is good for you. It contains calcium, iodine, magnesium, protein, and (if you’re lucky) the odd dose of mercury. Plus it tastes good. Especially when it’s grilled. Which is why I ordered the grilled fish premium set at Long John’s, dubiously made up of fries, rice, curry (alarm bells please), and of course, grilled fish. Weird mix…and you’re expected to get the rice to your mouth with a knife and fork. I suppose I’m at fault for not heeding the warnings.

But then again, I paid $5 and waited the customary 7 minutes for this so what the heck.

First, the curry. I stab at the brown puddle with the damn knife before managing to transfer a few measly drops to my mouth only to regret ever bothering. If one were to mix 2 parts curry powder with 2 parts water, this is exactly what one would get. Yummy. Decide immediately to abandon.

Proceed to empty 2 sachets of chilli sauce all over fries and start chomping. But of course, LJS fries always taste good and this batch didn’t disappoint. So at least there was hope.

Now the rice. Tasted kinda waxy really. Like it’d been boiled, left to dry and then steamed before being dumped on my tray and flattened slightly. Very SFI.

Finally, onto the fish which, though touted as grilled, looked like it’d been boiled. The skin on the underside wasn’t seared and the flesh wasn’t flaky. Nonetheless, in a leap of blind faith, I took a bite. I don’t really know how to describe the flavour…but I think a fairly accurate representation would be to imagine the way fish would taste if it’d been marinated in its own guts. Absolutely vile. So vile that Winnie, she who devoureth all, took a sniff at it and backed off, reminding me of the way my cat reacts to Whiskas’ beef and something mix.

Nothing left to do but finish the fries and guzzle my Pepsi before scooting off in search of a second dinner. Will stick to the fried stuff next time.