Singapore Idol is the type of programme that you should not watch while having dinner. This is especially true if your dinner involves chicken wings. Asphyxiation notwithstanding, you may inadvertently impale your cat with flying chicken bones shot out of your mouth as contestant so-and-so mutilates song such-and-such.

In fact, I strictly recommend that this hour of mental torment be viewed only with a thick and very hardy towel wedged in your mouth. This is to ensure you do not bite your tongue off in the ensuing gnashing of teeth.

The pain of this experience is something words cannot describe. Yet, despite the sheer torture of it all, people constantly put their tongues (and cats) on the line, week after week, contestant after woeful contestant. That includes me, by the way. Where is the sense in all this? I don’t know and I don’t care. But I’ll be back next week… chewing on a towel.