I am hungover at work YET AGAIN. Why I continually torture myself like this is still a mystery but I am convinced that it will all come together in the larger scheme of things. So here I am at my desk trying to look like I'm deep in thought when in fact my brain has recently been wiped out by lighter fluid mixed with 7-Up. And, of course, to cheer me up, I have just been informed that I have a briefing to attend later. The nuts!

Look. At present, this copywriter is woefully incapable of thought. He cannot distinguish between a chicken and a Sunkist orange. If you were to present him with a juicer and the two aforementioned items, there is a 50% chance that you'll be having REALLY FRESH chicken juice with your cereal.

And still the bastards persevere. I'm gonna have to assign material keys again. A material key looks something like this - EO/S020501/6WP1. Makes no sense to you? Makes no sense to me. Time to bring out the dice! Hohoho. Good grief I'm a goner.

Sooner or later, my boss is gonna get on my back for this. “Have you been drinking, Joel?” she'll ask and I'll light a cigarette with my breath. She'll probably run off screaming and I'll just sign up for the circus. I heard they pay well.