A burp for Nessa

Coming as an effervescent black liquid, Coca-cola will taunt your senses as it slides soothingly down your throat, reminding you about the time your turtle bit your toe. Be enchanted as it reminds you how fortunate you are that turtles prefer water to coke because it you had to rescue your beloved pet from this acidic liquid, it will dissolve the effects of your pedicure. But there's more, get a coke today and you'll get a FREE burp. Watch in smug amusement as everyone around you move away from the furniture, taking with them their nephew or their cat. It's all up to you! Get your refreshment today!

Okay, don't groan so loudly, there's a reason why I'm not the copywriter around here. Anyway, Venessa, buy me a coke and I'll produce the burp. Joel can attest to that.