Just a scribe
I have just gone through the FA of a serviced residence brochure and I don’t mind telling you that as I turned the pages, I wept with complete abandon. Every paragraph just screamed out for structure editing and, in some cases, a total rewrite. And yet I was completely helpless.
To think that it had all started so well with the client making it perfectly clear that we had won the business on the back of some sound copy. Why then did they insist on the tagline equivalent of “Because food is for eating” when we had options which, if not poetic, at least made some sense? And what’s with sentences that go “Stay with us… …and you’ll feel great”? Why have those dots? Are they supposed to keep the reader in suspense thinking “Hmmm, if I stay with them, I’ll (dot, dot, dot, hmmm, dot, dot, dot) feel great!”? Why!
For them to butcher so mercilessly the copy which they proclaimed they adored is like telling a woman you love her and then marrying her brother. It is just stunningly preposterous and yet these fools are perfectly happy about the whole affair. If I had the chutzpah, I would’ve punched them in their respective snivelling faces. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Which is why I am restricted to sitting here and ranting away at my keyboard. Such is the life of us advertising scribes.
To think that it had all started so well with the client making it perfectly clear that we had won the business on the back of some sound copy. Why then did they insist on the tagline equivalent of “Because food is for eating” when we had options which, if not poetic, at least made some sense? And what’s with sentences that go “Stay with us… …and you’ll feel great”? Why have those dots? Are they supposed to keep the reader in suspense thinking “Hmmm, if I stay with them, I’ll (dot, dot, dot, hmmm, dot, dot, dot) feel great!”? Why!
For them to butcher so mercilessly the copy which they proclaimed they adored is like telling a woman you love her and then marrying her brother. It is just stunningly preposterous and yet these fools are perfectly happy about the whole affair. If I had the chutzpah, I would’ve punched them in their respective snivelling faces. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Which is why I am restricted to sitting here and ranting away at my keyboard. Such is the life of us advertising scribes.
3 Comments:
There, there. I think you could use a beer. Or some painkillers. And alcohol.
Here, have a comic.
Weed. I need weed. But I'd settle for a damned bonus which doesn't seem forthcoming.
Ah... *pat on the back* I didnt know it had resorted to that..
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