With the European Championships over after that horrendous final which Greece deserved to win only because Portugal didn’t, the close season is officially upon us and the musical chairs game that is the transfer market has kicked into action.
So what has Newcastle been up to? Almost nothing really. Other than signing James Milner for £5m and declaring their interest in that donkey named Patrick Kluivert, the Magpies have been quiet. So quiet that is scares me. What the team really needs isn’t another midfielder nor a striker like Kluivert. We desperately need at least two new, and might I add, capable defenders. Buying defenders doesn’t really seem to be Sir Bobby’s forte. Other than Jonathan Woodgate, whose quality was there for all to see anyway, the defensive signings he’s made have all proved disastrous. Andy O’Brien, signed from Bradford for goodness knows what, is famous for making blunders only matched by the size of his gargantuan nose. As if one shaky defender isn’t bad enough, we’re stricken with Titus Bramble, who, considering his propensity to participate in “roasting” sessions, should really be named TitAss Bramble. I’ll never forget his airball against Arsenal which allowed Henry an easy tap-in to put them back in the lead. On the bright side, at least Nikos Dabizas is gone. While his dedication to the team was unquestionable, he never really got it into his head that raising YOUR hand doesn’t automatically rule the striker offside.
So what else can be added to complete the squad? Perhaps a truly creative midfielder and a striker similar to Bellamy could be considered. Granted that we’ve already got Kieron Dyer and Hugo Viana to provide attacking options from central midfield, but they just aren’t good enough. Dyer’s tireless and dead quick but sadly, that just means he runs into walls, real quickly, again and again and again. Viana looks lazy to me. You don’t get very far in the Premiership by strolling around the park, showing off your wavy hair. As for strikers, the only other natural replacement for Bellamy would be sulky puss Lua Lua who is inconsistent anyway. Chopra is something of an unknown quantity to me. He’s touted to be brilliant but from what I’ve seen, he’s out of his depth in the first team. Ameobi’s mainly a target man though he possesses good on the ball skills. He’d make a better replacement for Shearer than Kluivert. At least he doesn’t whine so much.
The new season’s just a month away so Sir Bobby had better start making those phonecalls. I don’t wanna have to live through another season of mediocrity. Looking at the way Chelsea, Liverpool and even Birmingham are bolstering their squads for next season, just hanging on to 5th place with the current squad would be considered a feat.
So what has Newcastle been up to? Almost nothing really. Other than signing James Milner for £5m and declaring their interest in that donkey named Patrick Kluivert, the Magpies have been quiet. So quiet that is scares me. What the team really needs isn’t another midfielder nor a striker like Kluivert. We desperately need at least two new, and might I add, capable defenders. Buying defenders doesn’t really seem to be Sir Bobby’s forte. Other than Jonathan Woodgate, whose quality was there for all to see anyway, the defensive signings he’s made have all proved disastrous. Andy O’Brien, signed from Bradford for goodness knows what, is famous for making blunders only matched by the size of his gargantuan nose. As if one shaky defender isn’t bad enough, we’re stricken with Titus Bramble, who, considering his propensity to participate in “roasting” sessions, should really be named TitAss Bramble. I’ll never forget his airball against Arsenal which allowed Henry an easy tap-in to put them back in the lead. On the bright side, at least Nikos Dabizas is gone. While his dedication to the team was unquestionable, he never really got it into his head that raising YOUR hand doesn’t automatically rule the striker offside.
So what else can be added to complete the squad? Perhaps a truly creative midfielder and a striker similar to Bellamy could be considered. Granted that we’ve already got Kieron Dyer and Hugo Viana to provide attacking options from central midfield, but they just aren’t good enough. Dyer’s tireless and dead quick but sadly, that just means he runs into walls, real quickly, again and again and again. Viana looks lazy to me. You don’t get very far in the Premiership by strolling around the park, showing off your wavy hair. As for strikers, the only other natural replacement for Bellamy would be sulky puss Lua Lua who is inconsistent anyway. Chopra is something of an unknown quantity to me. He’s touted to be brilliant but from what I’ve seen, he’s out of his depth in the first team. Ameobi’s mainly a target man though he possesses good on the ball skills. He’d make a better replacement for Shearer than Kluivert. At least he doesn’t whine so much.
The new season’s just a month away so Sir Bobby had better start making those phonecalls. I don’t wanna have to live through another season of mediocrity. Looking at the way Chelsea, Liverpool and even Birmingham are bolstering their squads for next season, just hanging on to 5th place with the current squad would be considered a feat.
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