I am back.

Unfortunately for all previously seven now six of you, I am still very much alive, if not kicking quite as vigorously as before. Spent a few days in Hong Kong running unsuccessfully for the job of Chief Executive where I managed to catch the mother of all coughs. I suspect someone has taken offence to my continual mockery of their version of English which, in my humble opinion, is really a mockery of OUR version of English.

But why the animosity? Let us all be friends. We can’t have people coughing in each other’s faces just for revenge. Certainly not. Suicide bombings and kidnappings aside, spreading viruses to unsuspecting foreigners in such a manner is really rather rude - like spitting in public or dumping body parts in rivers.

In other news, I am distraught because I have found, much to my dismay, that this blog comes up as hit number 33 in a Yahoo search for “sex mass orgy”. This is in addition to “horny housewives” but I have forgotten the ranking. The only comfort remaining is that no one has yet stumbled upon this literary enclave looking for “F10N4 X13”. For now, I can breathe easy, amid the hacking and sniffling of course.