Bye!
Apparently, my colleagues’ idea of a wonderful farewell party is to stuff the soon-to-be-gone copywriter with satay and beer and then hurl him kicking and screaming into a pool. Tears are rolling down my cheeks as I write this. But only because that wasn’t the original plan. The original plan was to pretend to cart me to the pool and then suddenly swarm DAVE and hurl HIM into the abyss. How could all of you screw up such a simple thing?! It could all have gone so smoothly had the four or five or six of you just followed these step-by-step instructions:
1. Cart Joe to pool.
2. Joe yells pathetically like a swine.
3. Put Joe down.
4. Pick Dave up.
5. Heave-ho.
6. Everyone goes home happy.
But no… turns out that some people got carried away (no pun intended) and forgot steps 3 and 4 which left me sloshing all the way home. Thanks, folks. Remember to invite me to some other farewell party so I can forget too.
Oh yes, in the excitement to dunk me, somebody gouged a hole in my right arm. Whoever the culprit is, I hope you own up so you can pay for the band-aid.
On the bright side though, I got $80 worth of vouchers from Basheer as a farewell gift. So here’s a very sincere thank you to Edmund, Ann, Krazy Karen a.k.a. J-Lo, Michelle, Cynthia, Florence, Chow and Valentia (did I get all your names?) for being so kind despite my habit of screwing up all your jobs, forgetting deadlines, coming in late, going off early etc. Thanks also to Tanty who got me an atas-looking pen from which many great ideas will flow, I hope. Thanks also to Mas and Eunice who got me books that I am sure will affect my life in some way. I’ll tell you how when I get round to reading them.
It’s been great working with all of you the past four months. The work itself may not have been that special but then again, I didn’t do much anyway so that was excellent. So goodbye for now and thanks for all the food. I’ll be seeing you people again real soon, I’m sure, but before you get all teary-eyed, it’s not because I miss you. It turns out that I forgot to return my security pass and insurance card. Dammit.
1. Cart Joe to pool.
2. Joe yells pathetically like a swine.
3. Put Joe down.
4. Pick Dave up.
5. Heave-ho.
6. Everyone goes home happy.
But no… turns out that some people got carried away (no pun intended) and forgot steps 3 and 4 which left me sloshing all the way home. Thanks, folks. Remember to invite me to some other farewell party so I can forget too.
Oh yes, in the excitement to dunk me, somebody gouged a hole in my right arm. Whoever the culprit is, I hope you own up so you can pay for the band-aid.
On the bright side though, I got $80 worth of vouchers from Basheer as a farewell gift. So here’s a very sincere thank you to Edmund, Ann, Krazy Karen a.k.a. J-Lo, Michelle, Cynthia, Florence, Chow and Valentia (did I get all your names?) for being so kind despite my habit of screwing up all your jobs, forgetting deadlines, coming in late, going off early etc. Thanks also to Tanty who got me an atas-looking pen from which many great ideas will flow, I hope. Thanks also to Mas and Eunice who got me books that I am sure will affect my life in some way. I’ll tell you how when I get round to reading them.
It’s been great working with all of you the past four months. The work itself may not have been that special but then again, I didn’t do much anyway so that was excellent. So goodbye for now and thanks for all the food. I’ll be seeing you people again real soon, I’m sure, but before you get all teary-eyed, it’s not because I miss you. It turns out that I forgot to return my security pass and insurance card. Dammit.
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