The Dinner and Dance

My company had its annual D&D last Friday. It was a pyjamas (or pee-ya-ma as my boss likes to say it) party and so we were all dressed to the nines in our most exquisite sleepwear. Karen ensured that we would all remember her as Krazy Karen. Older women were spotted hugging Hello Kitty toys. I smashed a plate with a spoon. In short, it was fun - in an asinine kind of way.

Some pictures then.


Ain’t we cool? Ain’t we hip? Actually, I think Eunice’s pants are marginally cooler than mine. Darn.



How interesting. Two yawns but only one set of teeth.



Told you there was some Hello Kitty hugging going on.



Val is clutching a what-the-hell-is-that and a mugful of something. Krazy Karen has (yes, you aren't hallucinating) curlers on her head, black stockings and a pair of Doraemon I-don’t-know-what-those-are. No wonder she won the Best-Dressed Award.



After much rummaging through Krazy Karen’s make-up basket, assorted items were added to my head. As far as I know, there was a shower cap, two clothes pegs and a hairbrush. The snarl really completes the look.



With her eyes and ears covered, Nasal Girl relied on her acute sense of smell to snare evil villains.



Such as Come-And-Get-Me-Girl.



The creative team.



Edmund, the satay man, complete with straw fan.



Had this been a conventional bottoms-up contest, I would undoubtedly have won using the age old pour-half-of-it-down-your-shirt technique. As it turned out, I lost to the lady on the far left by mere milliliters.



I was immensely pissed at not winning and threatened the cameraman with a comb in the gut. Meanwhile, what the hell is Krazy Karen so happy about?



This… this really takes the cake, doesn’t it? My elation at being transformed into such a magnificent work of art is written all over my face. Scrungies on my ears, an eyelash curler on my collar, a freshly penciled moustache and a freaking slice of capsicum on my nose; all applied with utmost dedication by a bunch of excited women. What more can a man ask for?



Enough was enough for Sally who felt ashamed for her part in my humiliation and attempted to asphyxiate herself with a helium balloon and a piece of ribbon.



String? What string?



Dave being gay. He’s a real natural. But before you girls start wailing and sobbing, don’t worry. I believe he’s straight.



A lot of hot air with my name written on it. A dream come true. Notice how Eunice appears very supportive in the background until…



well… this.


And finally,


Babes. The females of the species.