Get Andy Hitched #6
I wrote about Phase 1 of operation Get Andy Hitched (or GAH) a whopping one and a half years ago. Since then we’ve had four other unsuccessful attempts including two trips to Kukup throughout which the bastard resolutely remained single. With some luck though, that’s about to change. The sixth instalment of GAH gets underway on Thursday night. This time we’ve gone full circle and planned another chalet for the asshole. As usual, Junwei, the resident pimp, has the girls lined up. I don’t know where he gets them from but I’m starting to think I should’ve become an auditor instead.
Anyway, the plan is foolproof or at least Andy-proof, we hope. After multiple planning sessions at HQ, otherwise known as A-star coffeeshop, we think we’ve got it cracked. What he needs is more chances to interact with the women. Hence, we’ve planned some telematch-like games which will, at least in theory, spark something. I, of course, will take no part in such nonsense which is why I’m slugging the PS2 along. While they frolick at Wild Wild Wet or wherever, I’ll be bashing my controller, and waiting for the inevitably bad news.
But I shouldn’t be pessimistic. After all, we’ve warned Andy that making a fool of himself isn’t necessarily a good thing. Once, in Kukup, we were forced to watch in horror for a whole fifteen minutes as he tried (in vain) to set off three firecrackers simultaneously. One of his potential mates turned to me and asked “is he always like this?” I couldn’t lie. “Unfortunately…” was the heavy-hearted reply for I knew that all was lost. Then there was the time at the last chalet where he tried (in vain, once again) to get a fire going. He did this while surrounded by five females, all of whom were egging him on but in a thoroughly motherly way. I had no choice but to drown my sorrows with other people’s Heinekens.
So there. This time, the warnings have been sternly issued and things are looking good. By Saturday afternoon, Andy should be married and expecting his first child. But, of course, we’ve also warned him against getting a model girlfriend. Because then, we’d have to kill him.
Anyway, the plan is foolproof or at least Andy-proof, we hope. After multiple planning sessions at HQ, otherwise known as A-star coffeeshop, we think we’ve got it cracked. What he needs is more chances to interact with the women. Hence, we’ve planned some telematch-like games which will, at least in theory, spark something. I, of course, will take no part in such nonsense which is why I’m slugging the PS2 along. While they frolick at Wild Wild Wet or wherever, I’ll be bashing my controller, and waiting for the inevitably bad news.
But I shouldn’t be pessimistic. After all, we’ve warned Andy that making a fool of himself isn’t necessarily a good thing. Once, in Kukup, we were forced to watch in horror for a whole fifteen minutes as he tried (in vain) to set off three firecrackers simultaneously. One of his potential mates turned to me and asked “is he always like this?” I couldn’t lie. “Unfortunately…” was the heavy-hearted reply for I knew that all was lost. Then there was the time at the last chalet where he tried (in vain, once again) to get a fire going. He did this while surrounded by five females, all of whom were egging him on but in a thoroughly motherly way. I had no choice but to drown my sorrows with other people’s Heinekens.
So there. This time, the warnings have been sternly issued and things are looking good. By Saturday afternoon, Andy should be married and expecting his first child. But, of course, we’ve also warned him against getting a model girlfriend. Because then, we’d have to kill him.
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