Daisy chains

A daisy chain refers to sexual relations between three or more people, with each person both performing and receiving oral sex simultaneously.

I did not previously know the meaning of this phrase. What a marvellous concept. It’s the epitome of a win-win situation. Not some crummy old “you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours” compromise. It’s more like “I scratch your back while you scratch, oil up and massage mine”. Politicians should think like that more.

“Hey George, you do me, I do you, and we can both screw France.”

Or something like that.

Of course, daisy chain has many other meanings such as…well… a chain made up of daisies. Or a series of connected events. But come on, what are you gonna be thinking when someone tells you she’s just made a daisy chain? Pistils? Such are the trappings of the human mind.

Career Limiting

Here’s a handy tip. If your MD’s name is Earl, on no account should you ever ever start an email to him with “Hey Early”. I’ll start packing my box now.

Rodney

We’ve ordered a red Suzuki Swift. For what we were willing to pay, it’s just about the only car that I won’t look like a prick in. And yes, I realise that the Swift isn’t really swift. It’s, at best, languid. But at least it’s got more horsepower than a Picanto. Actually, a shopping cart has more horsepower than a Picanto.

Anyway, since it’s a not-so-swift Swift, we’re gonna call it “Rodney”. Don’t ask me why. It just feels like one. You know… short, slightly tubby and with huge booming voice. Or something like that.

One more thing. Rodney will be a weekend car. Which means that you’ll still find me sulking on the train with my face in someone’s armpit. Gah.

I slept at 10.30pm last night hoping to catch the Brazil Croatia game. At 3am, the alarm clock duly goes off. I lumber to the living room, turn on the TV, sit on the couch and fall asleep. At 5.30am, I wake up, look at the clock, yell “fuck”, lumber back to bed and fall asleep. Screw the World Cup.

Power quote:
(After Ahn scores for Korea against Togo)
“Cometh the hour, cometh the Ahn.”

Vote for us or vote for us.

This was reported by Channel News Later on Tuesday.

PM Lee said: "Many of those who voted for the opposition in fact want a PAP government, but I respect their choice.”

Erm… and those who voted for the PAP in fact wanted a PAP government. I see where this is going. Whether you voted for us or not, you voted for us. And we respect that choice! Great way to earn a strong mandate, methinks.

By the way, mandate is such a gay word. And the government keeps asking for a strong one no less.