Joe will jog
“Exercise” I told myself and launched into a session of pushups and crunches. After the first set, I was pink. By the second, blue. After the third, I was green. Carine was urging me on in her own distinct way, namely by chanting “useless!!!” and drawing tortoises labeled Joel on MSN. This despite the fact that she couldn’t walk for days after one jogging session. How quickly the frog forgets.
Since my trip to Hong Kong, I’ve been overwhelmed by this unbearable feeling of flabbiness. My recent brush with the heavyweight champion of coughs hasn’t helped either. The constant hacking forced me to miss one football session and I was thus obliged to lessen my misery by munching on chicken wings. I shudder to think what will happen now should I, or anyone else, poke my middle. Fingers may be lost, along with a large chunk of my self-esteem.
That explains the torture session and chameleon practice.
What I really need to do, though, is jog. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to do so for more than six months because either the weather’s been too hot or too cold or it’s been raining or the moonlight was too glaring or I didn’t like the particular constellation that displayed itself on any given night. Bummer. To think I used to be a decent runner in NS. Being stuck in an infantry unit meant that when you weren’t walking ridiculous distances, you were running ridiculous distances. And so I was reasonably fit in those days. 2.4km runs were walks in the park. Timings of below 8m 45s were commonplace though I was only third fastest in my section. I don’t know what the other horses were on.
How things have changed. Now, I am a slob. My last 2.4KM run was 3 years ago and it was a whopping 11 minutes. I suspect it is in the high thirteens now which isn’t exactly like the wind. More like a fart. But no point discouraging myself. I have Carine for that.
It is time I started jogging again and I might as well publish my resolution to do so here so all of you, my loyal six readers, can push me to unfatten myself. Let it be known that next week I will be heard puffing around Yishun Park at least twice. Yes. Joe will jog. And the next morning, he will cuss vehemently. But that’s only fair now, isn’t it?
Since my trip to Hong Kong, I’ve been overwhelmed by this unbearable feeling of flabbiness. My recent brush with the heavyweight champion of coughs hasn’t helped either. The constant hacking forced me to miss one football session and I was thus obliged to lessen my misery by munching on chicken wings. I shudder to think what will happen now should I, or anyone else, poke my middle. Fingers may be lost, along with a large chunk of my self-esteem.
That explains the torture session and chameleon practice.
What I really need to do, though, is jog. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to do so for more than six months because either the weather’s been too hot or too cold or it’s been raining or the moonlight was too glaring or I didn’t like the particular constellation that displayed itself on any given night. Bummer. To think I used to be a decent runner in NS. Being stuck in an infantry unit meant that when you weren’t walking ridiculous distances, you were running ridiculous distances. And so I was reasonably fit in those days. 2.4km runs were walks in the park. Timings of below 8m 45s were commonplace though I was only third fastest in my section. I don’t know what the other horses were on.
How things have changed. Now, I am a slob. My last 2.4KM run was 3 years ago and it was a whopping 11 minutes. I suspect it is in the high thirteens now which isn’t exactly like the wind. More like a fart. But no point discouraging myself. I have Carine for that.
It is time I started jogging again and I might as well publish my resolution to do so here so all of you, my loyal six readers, can push me to unfatten myself. Let it be known that next week I will be heard puffing around Yishun Park at least twice. Yes. Joe will jog. And the next morning, he will cuss vehemently. But that’s only fair now, isn’t it?
6 Comments:
im no frog ok... O.O ahha... please dun sprain an ankle or sth... that would be so exciting right... ahhahahahaa
wah... 845 is fast
Am sure you can do it! Go for it, brother!
If not, I will drag you to kayaking, Pulau Ubin and worse of all, dieting!
One of these days you may just find yourself heavier than me, Carine. Then we'll see who has the last laugh! Hoho.
Diet?! NEVER!
I have decided to die of colon cancer. No point being non-conformist when it comes to such things.
i wont ok... i just fell sick for 3 days!!! if tat helps....
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