When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I’m feeling sad

I simply remember my favourite things (many of which are on Ananova), and then I don’t feel so bad.

Such as the priest they found in a strip club.

Or Wayne Rooney.

Or this dude who paints with his dick – I’m never using the phrase “broad stroke” again.

Ok. They’re not laugh out loud funny but they sure beat killing stuff.