I got crocked

As my football injuries go, this is easily the worst of the lot. A dislocated shoulder of all things. This’ll make a nice bedtime story for the grandkids.

I got clattered from the side while jumping which enabled me to do a half somersault and land gracefully on the right side of my body, tilted slightly forward to boot. Naturally, my right humerus gleefully popped out of its socket and lazed languidly behind its rightful place meaning I had a nice protrusion in my shoulder. I remember Bryan coming over and asking if I was ok to which I replied by pointing to my lump to which he replied by saying oh to which I said fuck.

And so it was off to find a doctor. Now, I don’t usually go to Chinese physicians, but in this case, everyone recommended that I do so. Yikun accompanied me while the rest couldn’t be arsed to even stop playing. The assholes. After wandering half-naked around Ang Mo Kio (I was playing with the shirt off and found that I couldn’t put it back on again with a bad shoulder) for awhile, we finally managed to find a Ma Kuang outlet. For those of you who aren’t familiar with this place, it’s a Chinese medical hall trying to be Western. We walked in and saw two doctors, both of which ascertained that I had a dislocation but wouldn’t do anything about it till I had an X-ray which I would have to get at the A&E. THEN, I could come back and have my shoulder popped back. Good grief. A Chinese medical place demanding an X-ray?! There I am, arm dangling loosely by my side and they ask me to get zapped?

We wandered somemore.

And came upon this small Chinese clinic. The doctor took a look at my shoulder and immediately started pushing and pulling. Now that’s efficiency for you. No nonsense medical attention. He twisted my arm round and round and pressed and kneaded my shoulder to coax the bone over the ridges and back into place. If you’ve ever pulled a wing off a chicken, you’ll have a rough idea of what I went through except that he was putting it back. Marvellous. It took about five minutes and I’d never been more comforted by the sight of my own shoulder.

I must admit that I still went to the A&E the following day, just to check if he’d gotten it right. He had and I got a week’s MC as well. The shoulder’s still swollen though and I’m supposed to wear an arm sling, all of which make me look like a fiddler crab. How sexy.

So it’s back to more Winning Eleven. Yes, if I rest my elbow carefully on a cushion, I can just about manage to use a controller. Thank goodness for that or I’d be blogging even more.